Life Is Fragile

Lynsey Fitzgerald passed away this morning. I got the news from a friend on my way to lunch. Lynsey went to my high school; she suffered from leukemia for many years. I did not know her well; in fact, I don't believe I ever had the pleasure of talking with her. Still, her death came as a shock, and it broke my heart.
People like Lynsey are inspiring. Every single day is a struggle for them, but they never give up. I can't even imagine facing the challenges Lynsey faced, and I doubt I would have the courage or strength to live each day, as she did. She has opened my eyes to all that I take for granted.
Even today, I found myself complaining about having a B in Spanish...as if that is a real problem. What is there for me to complain about? I am so lucky to have all that I do, yet I don't even take the time to stop and appreciate it. Why do I deserve to live such an easy life? What makes me so special? The truth is, I don't deserve it.
We all need to realize what really matters during our time here, and appreciate all that we are given. We need to help those who are struggling just to keep moving from day to day; they need us. We need to look up to people like Lynsey, for they are the ones who are truly strong; they are our inspiration. We need to live each day as if it was our last.

You are only given one life, and when you reach the end and look back, what is it that you will see? What will really be important at that moment? Think about this the next time you worry about wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, or just fitting in. Think about what really matters. Think about someone like Lynsey.



"Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

No Hablo Ingles

Today, Hayley and I walked (through the snow/cold) to Aggieville to grab lunch and do some studying in a little coffee shop. I was reading my Psychology book, a chapter on intelligence, when I got to a section about the development of language. It was explaining how young children learn how to speak the language they hear most often. Then, as a result of my boredom/sleepiness, I had a crazy idea: What if I only spoke Spanish around my children? I could raise completely white, American kids, who couldn't speak any English, only Spanish. How awesome would that be!? They could be some kind of weird, hybrid kids; it would freak everybody out. Granted, school would be a bit more of a challenge, but at least I would be amused.

Spring, where have you gone?

It is snowing. I'm mad. And cold.
Mother Nature hates Kansas.

..and I'm really glad I took my coats home last week.

Anyway, here's a weird story. The other day in Psychology, I watched as a girl picked several long hairs off of the back of the girl sitting in front of her. These two girls are not friends. And the one with the hairs on her back was completely unaware of the situation. It kind of creeped me out. Is this girl so OCD about stray hairs that she feels the need to pick them off of a completely oblivious stranger? I guess so. Weird.

Procrastinating

This week has been hard. It's not that I have too much to do, but that I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. My brain has failed to come back from spring break. I just keep making up excuses to avoid my homework. Even typing this post is a way for me to procrastinate. I wish summer would hurry up and get here.

Pretty much the majority of my time this week has been spent watching TV and staring at my computer. Yesterday afternoon, I spent two whole hours watching dances on youtube. There is a dance academy in California that is completely unbelievable, so I was looking at all of their videos, which were amazing. Then, of course, it just made me sad. I think that I miss dance more than anything else from my old life. It's like I am incomplete without it, like I'm not quite me. To this day, it kills me to think that I will never be on stage again. I just wish I could have had more time with it.

Oh, and I can't wait for So You Think You Can Dance to come back!

Here is one of the videos I watched yesterday that I thought was particularly amazing, even though they are all fantastic.
This girl is only 9 YEARS OLD:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01gFCflxuzk&feature=channel_page

P.S. It's supposed to snow this weekend. Ugh.

Rejection

This morning I recieved my second rejection letter this month; this time it was for a scholarship I applied for. The first one was for a Sophomore Honorary, Silver Key, which I really wanted to get into.
It always says the same thing: "We regret to inform you that you did not recieve an interview..." These words make it even more disheartening because I know that they don't "regret" their decision at all. They don't care; they don't even know me. It's not like I had my heart set on getting the scholarship, anyway. The part that bugs me is the failure. I have failed...again.
For me, this is a hard concept to handle. I work so hard to be the best that I can be, the best there is. I don't want to just be good, or even great; I want to be extraordinary. But as I get older, it takes more and more to truly be extraordinary, and I always fall just short of the mark.
In high school, it was easy for me. My grades were consistently good, choir helped me stay involved, and I got into most of the things I applied for. Now, however, I am a freshman in college. I don't know how or where to get really involved. That's the thing; having a 4.0 GPA isn't enough, anymore. You have to be "well-rounded." You have to be involved in anything and everything. BUT you can't just be involved; you have to be a leader. You have to hold offices. On top of all that, you have to do community service to show that you are a valuable citizen. And, finally, you have to stand out from everyone else. Once you get an interview, you have to show that you have a good personality, good morals, responsibility, leadership abilities, etc. Based on all of this, I don't think I can ever be extraordinary; I'll just have to settle for good. After all, I guess there is nothing wrong with being good..

Life

I often find myself thinking about my future. There are so many things I want to accomplish that it can almost be overwhelming. My many ambitions are what keep me going from day to day, and I work hard to reach my goals. The biggest goal I have is to travel the world. I want to see all there is to see and learn more than I ever thought I could. No matter how my life turns out, I am determined to do this.

In case it’s not obvious, I have always been a planner…I really can’t help it. I already have the next 3 or 4 years of my life pretty much planned out. But no matter how much I plan, I cannot control the future; this is precisely what makes it so exciting. The unpredictability is exhilarating…and a little scary. At any moment, my life could change forever; whether it is for better or for worse, there is no way to tell. For this reason, it is important to appreciate every moment for what it is. I try to live my life with no regrets. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. There is no point in dwelling on some mistake from my past; it’s over and cannot be undone. Instead, I learn from my mistakes, cherish the good times I’ve had, and dream about what the future may hold.

Although it is difficult at times, I try to always be optimistic. I strive to find happiness in everything I do. After all, happiness is not something to be found; it is something to be created. Sadness, however, is often unavoidable. I found a quote once by a guy named Carl Gustav Jung. I have no idea who that is (or why his name is part German, part Chinese), but I like what he said (or wrote? I really don’t know). Here it is:

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

His words are so true. If we never suffered grief, heartbreak, remorse, etc., happiness would be completely meaningless. Life is never without obstacles, but it is our responsibility to overcome them and find the pleasure that awaits on the other side.

Where Did Break Go?

Well spring break is officially over.
I drove back to school today and now I'm really depressed. Break went by way too fast for me, and I barely had time to enjoy it. I wasn't planning on working until I noticed that I have no money, so I was forced to return to Applebee's...again. Work was about all I did this last week, but I also had some time to relax and hang out with a couple friends. Overall, it was nice, and I wasn't ready to come back; I even have some homework to do tonight.

Only two months until summer!

Sorry Boys, Girls Are Just Crazy

I have come to realize that there are a lot of things about girls that I don't get. Although I am a girl, myself, I still don't understand some of the stuff other girls do.

For instance, why are so many embarrassed to eat in front of boys?? This is the weirdest thing to me. I am proud of how much I can eat, and would never turn down a hamburger and fries just because I'm with a boy. Newsflash girls: EVERYONE EATS! No, I'm serious. There is not a living person on this planet that doesn't. In case you've never been to school, no one can live without food. It's a fact. So stop acting all embarrassed about it and dig in!

Also, I don't understand why a lot of girls shave/wax/nair their arms (and don't even get me started on guys that do it). What is so scary about hair? Again, everyone has it! Having smooth arms doesn't make you more lady-like; in fact, I'm pretty sure almost no one notices it. Who made it a law that girls can't be hairy anyway!? It's all so weird.

And, the big question, why are there so many girls that can't go anywhere by themselves?? It's as if they believe that unless they're surrounded by friends, people will think they don't have any. I'm pretty sure I've never met someone that doesn't have ANY friends. And if they are forced to actually go somewhere alone, they text or talk on the phone or just pretend to so that people know that they do, in fact, have friends somewhere! It's ridiculous. Lets, be a little independent for once, shall we?

Mi Casa

I went home last weekend for the first time in about two months. The first thing my dad said to me was, "By the way, there's a toilet in your room...but you can't use it." Wow. Thanks dad.

Saturday night, I went to my friend's birthday party who's a senior in high school. It was the first high school party I'd been to since graduating and it was weeeiiiirrdd. There were only about six college people there and we all felt like old farts. I was talking to some old choir friends about my senior year and it felt lightyears away, like some distant memory. It was strange.

After that flashback, I flew back to reality here in college. Coming back to Manhattan, I found that I am broke, have tests to study for, applications due friday, and absolutely no time for relaxation. Ahh responsibility. I need spring break. Now.

WTF

Remember the good old days of Bugs Bunny and Tom & Jerry??
Well those are long gone.

Take a look at what kids are watching now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5txVJkWziw

I have a feeling this is a marketing attempt to convince children to use crack.




Oh and by the way, IT'S FRIDAYYYYY!!!!

Now you're fashionable, Mom

According to Lucky magazine, oversized glasses are back. Apparently they're all the rage in Paris.

(photo courtesy of luckymag.com)